Let The Grumpy Retiree take you on a photographic Journey into the Enchanting European Christmas Markets of 2023! Get ready to experience the holiday season like never before! Tag along with the Grumpy Retiree on an epic adventure packed with awesome sights, awesome attractions, and of course mulled wine! Picture yourself in a world full of sparkling lights, festive fun, and delicious smells. Did someone say I smell?

Welcome to Munich, our first stop on our 4 country European Christmas Market Tour! We will travel from West to East on this 16 day journey through Europe. After 5 days in Munich its on to Austria exploring Salzburg and Vienna for 2 days each. Then back on the train to Bratislava Slovakia for 2 nights. Last, highly anticipated Budapest Hungary where we spend our lat 5 nights.

Let’s get started! I will update this page hopefully daily during our trip. That depends on how much time & wine I have each day!

Munich, Bavaria Germany

After a long night and day of travel, we took it easy our first day. Had a great lunch and headed to Marienplatz, the historic center of Munich and home to our first Christmas Market. The weather was cold and ice and snow made walking the city difficult. But after a great lunch near the hotel we took the metro to Marienplatz.

Grumpy Tip: Book a hotel near München Hauptbahnhof or Munich Central Station. It is the main railway & metro station in Munich and makes city travel a breeze!

The Grumpy Retiree

St. Peter’s church is located in Marienplatz and the highlight is to climb up the tower for a panoramic view of Munich. This is definitely worth the climb as you get fantastic 360 degree views of Munich from the tower. The views from ground level are just as impressive and as dusk approaches the lights start to turn on!

Munich Day 2: Dachau, BMW Museum

One of the main attractions of Munich for us was the Christmas Markets, but there is so much more in and around Munich to explore. Today we went to the outlying town of Dachau. I must admit I knew nothing of the history of Dachau until I was exploring our trip to Munich. Dachau opened in 1933 as the first Nazi concentration camp. While everyone has heard about the history of Auschwitz, Dachau unfortunately was the model.

BMW Museum

Our day continued on after Dachau to the BMW Museum north of Munich. Now, time to figure out the Munich are bus system! Local transport in Europe really is not that difficult, but every country seems to have their own system. We just make a connection, jumping the recent snow bank dumped by 18” of snow in the area. I hate missing a bus, even if the next one is only 10 minutes. I don’t have time to waste or be pleasant, damn it.

Before entering the BMW Museum we had lunch at BMW Welt or in English BMW World. Lunch was great and it gave us some time to check out new BMW models on display. All too damn expensive for someone as miserable as me!

If you are a BMW enthusiast, and only have a short time, I recommend the BMW Museum over BMW Welt. Unless you are cheap, as BMW Welt is free and the BWW Museum is not. If The Grumpy Retiree opened his moth filled wallet for the museum, you can too. While in the area the Munich Olympic Park is nearby. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to stop.

More metro rides and we are back in Marienplatz for more Munich Christmas Markets! Tonight we need to do some drinking. We were too tired the day before due to all the travel, but now we need to make up for lost time … and drinking!

Start with some good cheer and mulled blueberry wine and a beer. Walk some … drink some more! We found a great place we could drink and stay inside their tiny serving booth. Three mulled wines later we need to eat!

Top the evening off with a German sausage sandwich, which I really wasn’t sure what it was, but it was delicious. Already looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings. As long as I’m drinking and eating I’m not as grumpy.

Munich Day 3: Deutsches Museum, Markets

Our day 3 in Munich centered around the Deutsches Museum. This is a large science and technology museum located just outside the old town of Munich. You can easily spend hours here, as we did. The museum covers everything from atoms and aircraft to physiology and high technology. I must admit after about 4 hours here I started to go all Krispy Kreme, I was glazed.

As enjoyable as the Deutsches museum was, my main focus is eating, drinking and travel. And if I can travel somewhere where I can eat & drink, that’s the best combination. Off we headed to find food and drink!

We found a bus and headed to Viktualienmarkt, a food and vegetable market which in December also has some Christmas Markets stalls setup. Disappointed that our first restaurant for schnitzel was closed, we found ourselves at a local beer hall. Beer, pretzels and cheese snack only here as we are going to eat our way through the city and markets. Schnitzel will have to wait.

Day Trip to Innsbruck Austria!

I wake to an email from the German train service that our ticket to Innsbruck is impacted by a rail strike. Rail strikes in Europe happen frequently and usually are announced. But as a traveler unfamiliar with the situation things can get messy quickly. The people that strike must be as grumpy as me, I think they all just want a day off. Maybe they all want to go someplace together. Wait, they can’t, the trains aren’t running!

Regardless, in the end all was OK. And I conveniently received an email update that said “Whoops, we were wrong.” Of course I received that email while sitting on the train about 5 minutes after we pulled away from the station! No need to make me more aggravated than I already am damn it!

Two hours of mumbling later, we were in Innsbruck. The clouds and sun were just about perfect and that made for a super picturesque day.

Last Day in Munich, Residenz Palace

Our last day in Munich. Not too many plans today, it’s exhausting having to think everyday! I need some down time so I won’t be so miserable. The supposed metro/train strike is very confusing, as local busses seem to be running, but we decided to walk today as we have been eating like pigs and need the exercise!

Residenz Palace is our first stop. Nice little place they let you wander around. They had a lot of rooms for a lot of people, but didn’t see any bathrooms? Guess they didn’t have to go back in the day? I couldn’t figure that one out.

The beds were a mystery also. I guess they liked their mattress firm to say the least. And what is that above the bed? I’ll just let your mind wander about that. They give you an audio guide device you hold up to your ear. Way too much info I would never remember. But everyone else had them and were listening intently. I’d put it to my ear with nothing playing. Then just look into a corner of the room and start laughing. Kept everyone in suspense waiting for the punch line.

It’s not all sightseeing and fun and games. Sometimes you just need to have a goddamn coffee break. Or in this case hot chocolate break. The hot chocolate in German is heiße Schokolade, and let me tell you it’s gooood! About the best I’ve had. Add one of these donut things, which has a name I didn’t care to remember. That’s too complicated, and my brain is filled like a donut … Just point and smile.

Five days in Munich came to an end pretty quickly. Next up is Salzburg, home to Wolfgang Mozart. Well, his house is there but he’s pretty well dead, not expecting to bump into him. We’ll be boarding the train in the morning for 1.5 hours of railroad bliss. We’ll see how it goes!

Two days with Mozart … Salzburg Austria!

Well that blissful train ride was anything but blissful! Germany had 18” of snow just before we arrived, impacting air and train travel. Add on a strange 1 day rail strike and this train was standing room only! We had booked seats so we were good to go, unlike the cheap bastards stand next to me.

Grumpy Tip: Trains can be booked with or without a seat reservation. For the few extra Euros a seat reservation is good insurance!

The Grumpy Retiree

An hour and a half later we arrived in Salzburg Austria. That is, after I jumped back on the train to grab the knapsack we forgot! But I made it back off the train in time. I can’t imagine how pissed off I’d be if I forgot that knapsack! Regardless that was the only minor mishap … so far.

It’s a quick walk from the train station to our accommodation where we rid ourselves of our luggage prior to check-in. Time for an Austrian lunch. If there is one thing I don’t miss when traveling it’s a meal. At my age I don’t know how many I have left!

We only have about a day and a half in Salzburg, so we are quickly back out to explore the old city! And yes, more Christmas Markets.

While Christmas Markets are a special attraction during December all over Europe, that was just one reason we visited. This trip encompassed 4 new counties and 6 new cities for us! There are many places I have yet to see and I must spread my special brand of goodwill throughout the world. The Grinch shouldn’t get to have all the fun!

Salzburg is famous for 2 things, salt and Mozart. Salzburg was big in the salt trade back when salt was needed to preserve food. Salt in German is salz, so I hope you can figure how Salzburg received its name without my explanation. Salt was transported via the river Salzach which runs through Salzburg.

To be completely honest, I like salt more than Mozart. Sure, he was a good piano player and song writer, but I can’t think of one tune he wrote that sticks in my mind. Can you? Something that you just want to hum.

Regardless, if you’re going to catch a Mozart concert you may as well do it while in Salzburg. We caught one at Mirabell Palace. They didn’t let you take pictures during the concert so there is a picture of Mozart’s Birthplace (Mozart’s Geburtshaus). The Ford in front likely isn’t his vehicle. I see him more a Mercedes type.

Besides concerts and Christmas Markets, one of the main attractions in Salzburg is Fortress Hohensalzburg. In my opinion, which is the only opinion that counts, this is a highlight while in Salzburg. We spent a few hours shooting off the cannons and firing arrows at the commoners (tourists) in the city. A good time was had by all.

Vienna Austria; Culture, Sophistication & History

Vienna is to Austria what Paris is to France. It really is a beautiful city full of culture, until I arrived anyway. Every building in the city seems to have an ornate facade, pretty damn swanky. And if swanky is your thing then Vienna is for you.

Once again we arrived by train and took the metro to the downtown to our AirBnB. Drop bags and off for another feeding. During lunch we perused the local attractions and realized the Museum of Natural History Vienna was closed the following day. No time to waste! We rush out and head over, buy 2 tickets and fill the afternoon!

You might think we would be tired of damn Christmas Markets. But remember, they don’t just have lights and Christmas junk, they have food and booze! Locals and tourists alike come out at night, it’s like one big social gathering. So off we go to what is considered one of the best Christmas Markets in Europe right here in Vienna!

Vienna Beyond the Christmas Markets

OK, Vienna has a great great Christmas Market. Today it’s time to check out some more of what Vienna has to offer.

• Self Guided Walking tour of Vienna
• St. Stephen’s Cathedral
• St. Peter’s Church
• Café Landtmann
• Schönbrunn Palace
• Dinner

How much can we see and do in one day in Vienna? A lot! We start by walking the city and climbing the north tower at St. Stephen’s church. Ok, we took an elevator. You can climb the south tower if you need the exercise, but we are short on time and I’m short of breath. Also, we understand the views are better from the north tower.

When in Vienna you must try a traditional coffee house! There are many of these shops scattered about the city and most are in beautiful buildings worth exploring on their own. We chose Café Landtmann as it is one of the older shops and right on our route.

Reading reviews of the Viennese Coffee Houses is a job in futility. I love it, I hate it, it was great, it’s not the same. Everyone has a damn hair across their ass for some reason. Just pick one with a good average score and shut up, sit down and have a damn cup of something. Still bitchin? Stick some apfelstrudel in your mouth.

Café Landtmann really was enjoyable. Waiters in black jackets and white tablecloths for a cup of joe and strudel. WOW, they do coffee good in Vienna. There is a lot of talk about the waiters being grumpy, but our waiter was kind of nice. I gave him some pointers on being miserable and all is well now in the Vienna Coffee House world.

Some caffeine to keep us going and off to Schönbrunn Palace, our final destination in Vienna. A bus or metro ride outside the central area and we were ready to checkout the palace.

The entry to Schönbrunn Palace is timed and we had about a 90 minute wait, so we walked to Großes Palmenhaus Schönbrunn. That is a fancy name for a big greenhouse, but it whiled the time away and actually had some nice flowers and trees inside.

Schönbrunn Palace isn’t my favorite type of stop. My eyes start to roll into my head looking at paintings of pasty royalty, chairs you can’t sit on and tea cups you can’t drink from. But, at the Christmas Market in front, like a three year old, I got a giant pretzel and some Spaetzle. Now at least I wouldn’t have the dry heaves if I was exceedingly bored. Works for me.

Next Stop … Bratislava Slovakia

I have no preconceived expectations about Bratislava. While it isn’t as popular as Vienna or Budapest, the two major attractions west and east of Bratislava, it seems worthy of a stop. And I’ve never been, which is reason enough to grace Bratislava with my presence.

Another city another train ride. It took us a few minutes to figure out the Bratislava bus system, but we managed. Check in and drop off bags and head out for some Slovakian food.

Turns out we had one of the most memorable meals here in Bratislava! We ate at Koliba Kamzík Zelená and the traditional Slovakian meals were great. Slovakian food is very hearty and also offered more variety than we found in Germany and Austria.

Stomach full again, we walked through the Christmas Markets to the Danube River. On the opposite bank of the Danube is the UFO tower, so off we go over the bridge for some exercise.

The rest of the day we roamed Bratislava. The city is much smaller and approachable than the larger cities we had been too. That is especially true in the old historic center and I really liked Bratislava! Less people, and especially less tourists, always make me happy.

Day Trip to Trnava, Slovakia

As much as I like Bratislava, I wanted to take a quick side trip to a small town outside the city. Even less people and less tourists than Bratislava and maybe I’ll be less grumpy.

Seems as if the tram in Bratislava runs on a unique route to say the least. We followed the locals, who were just as confused us, and we all finally found the tram stop. After a damn adventure finding the tram, we arrived at the main train station in Bratislava. Tickets were 2.55€ ($3) each one way! Good and cheap, just the way I like it.

All this train riding and walking makes me weak, I need a treat. Time for a coffee and maybe just a small snack. We walk to a great little coffee shop in Trnava called Synagogue Café. Housed in a former synagogue it really is a great place to relax, drink coffee and eat cake. Three things I have a lot of practice with.

Trnava had virtually no stinkin’ rotten tourists. It was perfect! We climbed the tower in the center for some great views and walked the town and Christmas Market. Trnava is surrounded by a medieval wall, still standing in many places. I assume this is what keeps the tourists at bay. Good job Trnava!

Just before we jumped on our return train to Bratislava we had a great pizza and wine at Bistro Gallo. One of the best pizzas I’ve had and total cost was 15.60€ with 1 glass of wine for my wife and 2 glasses for me. I’m double her size so I need more wine. Trnava ended up being a wonderful experience and a perfect side trip.

Goodbye Bratislava, Hello Budapest Hungary

The final leg of our European Christmas journey is 5 nights in Budapest Hungary. There is a lot to see and do here and I’ve been wanting to go to Budapest for a while now. No time to waste. I have quite a few things to see in Budapest, in addition to the eating and drinking of course. Below is my list.

• Vajdahunyad vára
• Széchenyi Chain Bridge
• Buda Castle
• Hospital in the Rock
• Fishermen’s Bastion
• Wine tour & wine tasting
• Hungarian Parliament Building
• Hungarian State Opera House
• St. Stephen’s Basilica

The usual metro and hotel check in starts our Budapest adventure. Then a leisurely lunch and a walk through the city. Along the way we cut through 2 Christmas Markets. Budapest Christmas Markets are considered some of the best in Europe. And guess what? I didn’t think they were the best we have seen!

Budapest Christmas Markets seemed fine, but Vienna’s were far better. Sorry Budapest. Honestly I liked Bratislava and Salzburg and …. Come to think of it I liked Budapest Christmas Markets the least. They were overcrowded, especially at night, and lacked the charm of the other markets we visited.

Pest: Vajdahunyad vára (Castle) and Museum

Our first full day in Budapest! Budapest is split in two by the Danube River. You have the Buda side and the Pest side. Our hotel is located on the Pest side. The Pest side is busier & louder with lots of traffic, restaurants & hotels. It is where most people stay, but there are plenty of attractions on both sides of the city. Today we concentrate on the Pest side.

First breakfast. I am damn miserable the whole day if I miss breakfast. Any meal for that matter. Then into the metro to Vajdahunyad vára (castle), our first stop of the day. Besides the castle, there are a number of other attractions including the Hungarian History and Agricultural Museum and the Gatehouse & Tower. The setting is within a large city park and as we were there in winter there is an ice skating rink.

Grumpy Note: Budapest is known for the thermal baths located throughout the city. Széchenyi Thermal Bath is located within the park near Vajdahunyad vára. Like Pig-Pen from Charlie Brown, I skipped this stop.

The Grumpy Retiree

Lot to do and see here and I think every damn tourist and worse, tour group, visiting Budapest is here! We spent several hours between pictures, the museum and the Tower Tour. Inside the museum is relatively calm. The tourists outside just stop for the picture opportunity and leave, relatively few ventured inside. And that is a GOOD thing!

That night, after some lunch and relaxation we took a wine tour outside the city to 4 very small local wine producers. Hungarian wine you say? How was it? Well … It was “drinkable” I’ll say. In general I like the Austrian and German wines better. Regardless, I am drinking wine, seeing the countryside and some really little old houses and wine making facilities. Additionally, our tour operator was very pleasant about the tour, but a bit grumpy about life around the edges. With some work I can convert him to the dark side.

Across the Danube to Buda

We have a lot to do and see here on the Buda side! This part of the world has a tremendous amount of history and Hungary is no exception. From before Medieval times through World War II and communism to present day, Hungary has been in the middle of it all. At every stop there is something to learn and our first stop at Hospital In The Rock is no exception.

Hospital In The Rock was built into a natural cave system in the Buda hills. It served from the 1930’s to 2004 as a shelter, war hospital and eventually a nuclear bomb shelter. The history here is fascinating and scary at the same time. Make sure you click the link to read about this place, I’ll wait ….

The hospital facilities are well preserved being underground and you can only enter via a guided tour. There actually was a family maintaining the hospital until 2004 when it was taken out of use. Photographs cannot be taken inside, which is good and bad. I wanted to have a few pictures to share, but everyone taking selfies with the scary wax figures would have made this tour unbearable. There were a lot of sharp tools and I picture myself jabbing one into someone’s neck. Of course that would have been a GREAT picture!

A short walk away is Fisherman’s Bastion sitting on a hill in Buda overlooking the Danube and Pest. Fisherman’s Bastion was a fortress and lookout protected by fishermen hence the name. Wonderful views and architecture at this UNESCO World Heritage site. Definitely worth a stop and since this was Christmas, there was a small Christmas Market & food stalls.

Why in hell’s name does everyone need pictures of themselves when the attraction isn’t you it’s the view?

The Grumpy Retiree

Of course anything that served as a lookout means it has a view, which leads to tourists and selfies. Does anyone own a mirror anymore? Do you know what you look like? Add Fisherman’s Bastion to Trevi Fountain and The Eiffel Tower as most annoying selfie spots! Why in hell’s name does everyone need pictures of themselves when the attraction isn’t you it’s the view?

The Pest side is busy and flat while the Buda side is away from the attractions is quiet and hilly.

The Grumpy Retiree

The Rest of Budapest

Over the next view days in Budapest we took in the Hungarian Parliament Building, Hungarian State Opera House , The Central Market and St. Stephen’s Basilica.

I easily could have skipped the parliament building. They talked about a broken crown you could not get close to as it was guarded by 2 men. Then the tour guide went on about a bunch of statues. I lost track within seconds, but alas, there was no ice pick within my grasp to puncture my eardrum. The 2 guards had swords, but unfortunately they would not share. The tour ended with a welcome sigh of relief on my part.

The Hungarian State Opera House on the other hand was in a word … delightful! Who would have thought that? Definitely not The Grumpy Retiree. The architecture is wonderful and the tour was short but interesting. Just enough to snare my attention which mimics the attention span of an impatient gnat.

At the end of the tour, 2 opera singers performed for about 5 minutes. Fully expecting need for the ice pick I never procured, I braced for the worst. All my preconceived notions of opera were dashed within the first note. Holy crap, she could belt a tune. I actually enjoyed this performance! I understood neither her nor the eventual accompanying male singer, which may have been for the best. For all I know or care they were singing about me, but the performance alone was worth the entry price.

Our last official stop on our Christmas Tour of Europe was ABC (Another Beautiful Church). If you have traveled a lot, especially to Europe, you realize there are a lot of ABC’s. Eventually you think people had a lot of time to build churches in the day, and they are all over the top in gold and glitzy alters. But many of the churches on our trip included a tower to see the surrounding city. So last but not least is St. Stephen’s Basilica.

In all honesty, it was one of the nicest and best laid out churches we have seen in Europe. I felt it was worth the stop not just for the tower, but to see the church itself. On the way to the tower was a room with a bunch of robes I had no interest in, but they also had a replica of the broken crown we could not get close to at the Parliament Building. I could have taken a picture if for no other reason to display it here. But just to spite the damn crown, I refused to snap its photo. A cheap substitute has no place on a quality blog such as this.

The Grumpy Conclusion

Are the Christmas Markets enough of a draw to go all the way to Europe to see? In my grumpy opinion, they alone are not. They are a great addition to any European vacation, and they absolutely are worth visiting, but they were never our primary focus. No question, they add a festive atmosphere to the trip you won’t experience any other time. There is a lot of great history and sights to see and if you get a mulled wine while walking around, that is even better!

What did I like the best? Every place had its own charm, history, food and sights. Budapest may have been the most glamorous city, but the touristy nature, selfie takers and souvenir shops were a major trade off. Bratislava had the best overall food, was less touristy but didn’t have highlights many people desire. Vienna was sophisticated from the moment just before I arrived to the moment I left. Salzburg and Innsbruck had the best scenery with the Alps as a backdrop. And Munich, where we started, has a lot of history, especially related to the 2 world wars.

What about the Christmas Markets? Vienna was the best overall we encountered on our trip. Budapest was OK, but crowded. Salzburg & Bratislava were the 2 biggest surprises, both being fun and underrated. Innsbruck’s markets were smaller but nice, and they also decorated the complete town which added overall charm. Lastly, Munich had no less than 5 Christmas Markets spread through the city. The main market in Munich Marienplatz was great fun drinking mulled wine with the locals.